It’s been many years since I started the process of untangling myself from evangelical Christianity. By the end of 2020, I had pulled myself out of all the online deconstruction spaces I was a part of because I had no desire to put any energy there anymore. Life is short and I want to spend the rest of my days on this planet looking forward with an open heart, investing in relationships with people who love me for who I am right now, and engaging in activities that bring me joy and pleasure.
However, every time I’m reminded of the fact that I spent more than half my life in a religion that taught me that my flesh was bad - I feel so full of regret, and sometimes anger. Luckily, I was connected to churches that, for the most part, supported my spiritual dance journey. But the theology that was ingrained in me, shaped the manner in which I taught spiritual dance. Phrases like “offering my body as a living sacrifice” still haunt me because it taught me to view and treat my body like a soulless workhorse. I believed that I needed to transcend her so that she could be used in a way that would bring glory and honor to God.
If all I do for the rest of my life is learn to listen to my body, respect, honor, and love her - that will be enough. The process of retraining myself to include her voice in my dance practice has been quite difficult. And yet that is THE thing that has brought me the most healing.
There is so much wisdom within our bodies. They know the way into greater truth and deeper understanding and will gladly take us there if we simply hand over the keys.
